In the midst of it all, as the world quietens from the hustle and bustle of daily life with:travelling, working, arguing and striving for more, it almost seems like relationships have come to the forefront of our attention.
The everyday home relationships which once existed in a utopia realm of oh so fleeting moments are now been challenged. During this crisis one would think that this is the perfect time to focus on:
- How to tackle the COVID-19 crisis.
- What this means?
- How to prepare in business.
- Or perhaps grab the opportunity to become a fortune teller and predict what will happen in the future.
Regardless, I have chosen to speak about “the relationship”.
While many divorce lawyers are rubbing their hands in expectation of the work that is predicted to come their way out of this crisis, it is important to identify the two types of relationships that are out there:
- The parallel relationship.
- The interwoven relationship.
My definition of the two:
I have recently come out of a parallel relationship where our lives occasionally met, when time and work allowed. We primarily lived on good terms; of working, happiness, financial prosperity and all the rest that painted a picture of a well-rooted relationship. However, that reality turned into a failed relationship and sadly these are a large percentage of the connections that govern the Western world – the relationships that in hardship fails at the blink of an eye, the bonds that only hold steady in calm waters. The relationships that are entirely dependent on their external environment and have developed no interlaced joints amongst the members of it. These are the relationships that will become the sad cases which might now end up in the hands of lawyers and mediators.
These are the relationships that always keep their gaze on the internal mechanisms, relationships like the one my parents have and got to experience as I was growing. Their focus starts on the inside and works its way outwards. The relationships that with hold no matter what the external conditions are, because simply they are not dependent on them. These excellent mouldable relationships, mouldable not to one’s ego but to the hardship that comes with life, and those who take every opportunity that arises, to root themselves greater into a fertile ground of what it means to grow an interwoven relationship upon them.
These are the relationships which hold the space for improvement, but also those whose partners are willing to have those difficult conversations, when things waiver - without judgement and fear.
These are the relationships I truly admire - a genuinely good relationship to find oneself in, although perhaps not always the easiest one to be.
And so this is a call to those whose world has recently been shaken, and with it, their relationship is suffering. Perhaps this is the time and hopefully not too late, to build those bonds and grow stronger together.
- To move towards a union where each one of you holds the space for your other half, with no jealousy, criticism or emotional miscommunication involved.
Take this advice from someone who, by no means is a relationship expert, but someone who has always believed in the union of people, in its purest form.
Take this advice from someone who, despite the trials and tribulations I have faced , still believes in the union of people and observes every day the happiness of couples who are hopefully on a life long journey of discovery. They have the opportunity to turn that outward gaze internally and focus on themselves so that they may become the couple that are truly interwoven and stand the test of time.